I can’t believe you’re dead.

I can’t believe you’re dead

My Lord, my teacher, my friend:
all my hopes and expectations were in you,
and now you’re gone…

What does this mean?

You spoke of death,
but I can’t fathom it.

What happens now?
Where will I go?
What will I do?

These Sabbath days of waiting
are dragging endlessly by.
We’re doing the motions,
each of us locked in our own grief…
barely looking at each other,
barely talking.

Images of you keep returning to me:
The pain in your face,
the blood on your body,
your awful torment and terrible agony.

I hardly recognised you
when I saw you,
Your body was a mangled mess
of blood, flesh and bone.

I remember the darkness
That came upon the land
before you died.
Deathly stillness,
with clinging horror and fear
that drove many away.

The earth shook violently when you died.
It was as if creation knew you,
and cried out at your death.

These past days have been
heavy and still, as if the earth is waiting…
Brooding silence is all around…
Is this the end?

Time seems to be standing still.

Deep sorrow and grief fill my heart:
such emptiness and despair,
such dread, terror, and impending doom.

I can’t forget what I witnessed that day,
and I will never forget you.
You are gone…
and all my hope has gone.

I want to go to your tomb
to anoint your body,
but I’m trapped here….

You are in the tomb, alone,
and we can’t go to you –
not yet.
One more day
and we will come to see you
once more.

See Three Long Days and Nights

One thought on “I can’t believe you’re dead.

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