How does God see me?
I have an unhealthy need to prove myself which results in striving and anxiety.
Due to various things that happened to me as a child, I have struggled with feelings of shame, inadequacy, and unworthiness. Added to that was my Catholic upbringing, which was extremely works based. I had to “be good”, and to behave a certain way, in order to earn God’s approval.
Society itself is works based, and indoctrinates us into being performance and achievement orientated.
I have fibromyalgia, resulting in what may appear to be a very unproductive lifestyle. I often feel I’ve accomplished very little as a Christian, and realise that I’m afraid God is disappointed with me.
Do you struggle with similar feelings? Do you wonder what will happen when you stand before Jesus? Do you question wether you will receive any rewards?
Here is a word I received today, and I pray you will be comforted by it.
I know and love you!
I see you, my child. I see your struggles, and I see what you do and how you live, despite your struggles. I see your love for me, and I know your love has grown. I’m not judging you. I love you!
I know you feel grief and hurt at times, as you haven’t done the things you’d hoped to do. This counts as loss, and the loss was and is in my name. It’s how you’ve responded that matters.
As for rewards in heaven: it’s not a competition. You will be rewarded according to your faithfulness. And your faithfulness depends upon me. For you can do nothing of yourself – it’s all by me.
Rewards, in heaven, aren’t like on earth. It’s the ones who have loved me and remained humble and grateful, the ones who feel they have accomplished little, the ones who feel small and insignificant: these are the ones who will receive the most glorious rewards, and when they receive them, they won’t feel deserving. They will be wanting to give their crowns back to me!
On the days that you do seemingly nothing, I am working in you. I’m not judging whether you do something or nothing. I’d rather you do nothing, than do something in your own strength.
I love you, my child, totally and completely.
I want you to be at peace, to trust me, to rest in me.
I accept you. I rejoice in and over you!
I know very well how foolish it sounds to those who are lost, when they hear that Jesus died to save them. But we who are saved recognize this message as the very power of God.
For God says,”I will destroy all human plans of salvation no matter how wise they seem to be, and ignore the best ideas of men, even the most brilliant of them.”
So what about these wise men, these scholars, these brilliant debaters of this world’s great affairs? God has made them all look foolish and shown their wisdom to be useless nonsense.
For God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never find God through human brilliance, and then he stepped in and saved all those who believed his message, which the world calls foolish and silly.
It seems foolish to the Jews because they want a sign from heaven as proof that what is preached is true; and it is foolish to the Gentiles because they believe only what agrees with their philosophy and seems wise to them.
So when we preach about Christ dying to save them, the Jews are offended and the Gentiles say it’s all nonsense.
But God has opened the eyes of those called to salvation, both Jews and Gentiles, to see that Christ is the mighty power of God to save them; Christ himself is the center of God’s wise plan for their salvation.
This so-called”foolish”plan of God is far wiser than the wisest plan of the wisest man, and God in his weakness–Christ dying on the cross–is far stronger than any man.
Notice among yourselves, dear brothers, that few of you who follow Christ have big names or power or wealth.
Instead, God has deliberately chosen to use ideas the world considers foolish and of little worth in order to shame those people considered by the world as wise and great.
He has chosen a plan despised by the world, counted as nothing at all, and used it to bring down to nothing those the world considers great, so that no one anywhere can ever brag in the presence of God.
For it is from God alone that you have your life through Christ Jesus. He showed us God’s plan of salvation; he was the one who made us acceptable to God; he made us pure and holy and gave himself to purchase our salvation.
As it says in the Scriptures,”If anyone is going to boast, let him boast only of what the Lord has done.”
1 Corin 1:18-31
Here is a link to an article you may find useful.