The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,Isa 61:1-3
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.
How do I allow the pain I’ve experienced since childhood to heal?
How do I go through the grief?
How do I cry the tears that I pushed down so long ago?
So many tears…..so much pain…..so much grief…..
Since early childhood, I have experienced much trauma: abuse, bullying, being misunderstood, painful relationships, rejection and hurt, illness, loss, and much more.
Jesus has already done so many wonderful, amazing things in me. He has enabled me to forgive all those who have hurt me, and I have received much healing of wounds. I see changes in my attitude and behaviour that I can only attribute to Him.
But I still have deep grief locked up within me, and I need to let my Lord and Saviour comfort and heal me, through and through.
Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.Luke 6:21
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.Matt 5:4
The pain I pushed down, the grief I locked away, has affected me.
It has come out in my body, in constant pain and exhaustion: in fibromyalgia.
It has come out in my emotions, as anxiety disorder and depression.
It has affected my relationships, as I am unable to set healthy boundaries, and I either trust too much or too little.
It has affected me spiritually, in my relationship with God. I have issues with trust and unbelief, and there are invisible, unwanted barriers between us.
I struggle with being a perfectionist, with striving to achieve and to please others. I undervalue myself, compare myself with others, and struggle with feelings of inadequacy.
It’s time to let the grief out, to let the tears flow.
It’s time to be healed.
Jesus wept.John 11:35
Jesus suffered and Jesus wept.
He still weeps.
He weeps when we suffer.
He weeps when we sin.
He weeps over our unbelief.
He weeps over those who reject him.
He weeps in intercession.
He weeps over a fallen world.
He weeps with me.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds..Psalm 147:3
I’m impatient. I want to cry the tears NOW! I want the grieving to be over, so I can experience joy and healing.
But God has a perfect timing in everything. He is gentle and tender.
I can’t push the tears out. I need to be patient, and to trust that I really am in God’s hands, and he is holding me.
He wants this healing even more than I do, and he is faithful.
Weeping may endure for a night,Psalm 30:5(b)
But joy comes in the morning.
So I cry out to my Lord, asking that he would take me through this pain and carry me safely to the other side. I know that only Jesus can remove the blocks and release my tears. Only he can heal me and make me whole.
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hearsPsalm 34:17-18
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.